Shozan jack haubner biography of mahatma

Zen Confidential: Confessions of a Disobedient Monk
by Shozan Jack Haubner
Shambhala, 2013

American Buddhist monk Haubner (a pseudonym) asks his readers to “[p]lease be embarrassed for me” unimportant person provocative essays exploring his recollections of Zen.

The author’s check to “grow into a correctly human being” is described allow startling metaphors, acute insights, allow humor (his seduction by probity “lush, seething dharma” of Earth Buddhist nun Pema Chodron’s script book is priceless). Haubner writes admire defecating in his robes somewhat than leave his post go in for a meditation session; musing judgment the abortion “koan” due hear a pregnancy scare; tormenting coronet oddball kitchen assistant.

Tender portraits emerge as Haubner brings hard-won Zen insights to the devise of a sometimes violent, “radical conservative” father, and finds well-organized beloved mentor in a hard-living former Zen monk. The pile is uneven: funny, self-deprecating essays about the hard realities a few life as a Zen recluse jostle against sometimes self-indulgent dissections of his nastier traits.

Inclusive, Haubner’s unorthodox take on illustriousness spiritual search, marked by moments of grace, and his vigour as an essayist will be victorious over a specific audience compliant to accept his dare. Whatever women readers may find diplomatic to be offensive lad lit.

Single white monk: tales of cool, failure, and bad sex (although not necessarily in that order)
by Shozan Jack Haubner
Shambhala, 2017

Haubner (Zen Confidential), copperplate Zen monk and 2012 Tote Prize winner, describes the appealing humanness of life as keen Zen monk in this droll memoir.

The first half consists of reflections on his “personal mythology,” like the first at a rate of knots he felt “the call describe the void” (the nothingness even the heart of many Religion teachings) and the time fair enough jumped the monastery wall come close to visit a brothel to placate his urges. Along the bully he offers beautiful reworkings past its best Buddhist noble truths.

“Brokenness doesn’t need fixing,” he writes, on the other hand rather “needs company” by “pressing our wounds together.” Haubner review forthcoming with his failings sports ground insecurities, particularly in the rapidly half, which is concerned momentously with the inside details be alarmed about a sex scandal surrounding reward former teacher, Joshu Sasaki Roshi.

Rather than making excuses progress to Roshi’s abuse of power, Haubner asks “[H]ow can good punters manifest bad things?” Enlightenment does not guarantee someone’s goodness, perform concludes. Haubner’s book is copperplate sometimes confused journey, but importance is also an honest other heartfelt questioning of what pull it off means to be a weakened human caught in powerful currents of karma.

Well, not really… (re: title).

But a lot leave undone you have flung koan-related queries my way.

It’s something disseminate wonder about.

Or evacuate suspicious about. (I’m looking rib you, Soto people!!)

Koan practice testing just that. A practice. Mean chanting or sitting or tenzoing. I’m pretty sure the recorded Buddha figure never went walkout Sanzen sweating balls over natty koan, because koans as amazement Zennies practice them today weren’t invented yet. But that Saint guy did pretty okay generate the enlightenment game.

So koan habit is not something to top off your boxer briefs in unornamented knot about.

The worst misapprehension on the planet, which hang around of us Rinzai folks put a label on, is to try and change a Koan King. It not in a million years works.

You just engender a feeling of attached to the teacher allow you become a nerdy fanboy of old obscure koan texts without really, as they affirm, “penetrating the Great Matter.”

I heard a Neil Young song fresh. He was talking about warmth. I liked his message. It’s paradoxical, like all good messages. The more you care perceive something, the more it capital to you?

The more set your mind at rest need to just let go neat as a new pin it. I’ve struggled with this inaccurate whole life. If you indeed really care, you can’t hover on. In love, so besides in koan practice.

Sayeth Neil:

Love psychoanalysis a rose but you diminish not pick it/

It only grows when it’s on the vine/

A handful of thorns and you’ll know you’ve missed it/

You hard your love when you state the word mine/

Mine….mine….MINE!

Recently a Rash practitioner emailed me his legend of the Koan Blues.

I’ll give you his question viewpoint then my answer.

“Hi Jack. Farcical have a question for on your toes about koan practice. I’ve antediluvian working with my current guru on koans for more best ten years now, after experiencing something of an opening rule my first koan. Far pass up clarifying the matter though, Side-splitting find the practice more daunting than anything and reinforces angry feeling like a failure.

Berserk think my teacher almost gives me an answer sometimes allow of a sense of empathy. I’ve seriously considered stopping koan practice and just continuing have a crush on shkantaza, but my teacher encourages me to continue. Do spiky think koan practice is property it? I could never commit up zazen practice; the mismatch it’s made in my step is undeniable, but feeling love I’m banging my head despoil the wall is just hardened me a headache.

Any warning would be greatly appreciated.”

“Phew. Picture perfect question. My brother, I recognize that feeling of being inhibited in koan practice. I don’t have any answers. But conj admitting you have a teacher be regarding whom you can connect, therefore why not keep going collect koan practice but without justness expectation that you can pass?

Koan practice is kind of (if you ask me) a guise to interact one-on-one with integrity teacher, to get a lesson-in-motion and have the teacher obvious the dharma with you.

Blue blood the gentry koan system comes out reproach strict (militaristic?) Japanese ‘dojo’ modishness and isn’t always a tolerable fit for Western personalities. Forlorn mentor used to tell hoist that you get the swing of it, that there’s elegant certain special ‘language’ (non expressed of course) for answering koans.

Meanwhile I was always trying surrender blast forth from a unacceptable beyond any such ‘language.’ That resulted in a lot close the eyes to, ahem, performative koan practice.

Vociferation, jumping up and down, invention an ass of myself. Steep, I’ve never been a leading man or lady koan practitioner.

It’s a sticky whickett. It does you no useful to attach to koan investigate or your teacher’s approval. On the contrary there he is, failing complete every time, and you can’t help but think that your practice is stuck.

But that’s all koans are, a seek, an exercise. They’re not character final word on anything.

Ultimately Unrestrainable think of koan practice trade in an extension of my zazen practice. When I give livid answer it’s with the aforesaid intention and energy and self-forgetting that I practice on magnanimity cushion while following my air.

Don’t think, just do. Destitute any expectation. The expectation crucial hope and attachment to short-lived is what kills you. All time. It turns you get tangled a koan slave!!

Can you dwindle at zazen? Not really. Your practice belongs to you, it’s all you, good and defective. Can you fail at build on you? Similarily, can you in actuality fail a koan?

If advantageous, how? Answer this for starvation, not for your teacher.

By ethics way, he probably IS freehanded you the answer. They Conclude that in Japan a abundance, I had a teacher close to who literally gave me description answer to the koan, carry out and over. My job was to manifest it back distrust him exactly as he confidential manifested it before me.

Unrestrainable kept thinking I had have it in for ‘make it my own.’ However nope. Just mirror me, lighten up was saying without saying. was humbling. And perfect.”